生命人寿吉林刘洋:帮忙改错 请多帮忙 谢谢

(Firs of all, this is a very good article. Since it is posted for correction, I would try my way as following.)

Secondly, people with disadvantages may have some advantages as compensations. That is to say, someone is week in one aspect, she or he may be strong in others aspects. A person who is poor may have a stronger motivation for succession than those who already have lots of money; a person who is black may have a more robust body than the people of other races; a person who is blind may has a better hearing ability than the normal people.
Thirdly, differences are not obstacles to success but different ways to succeed. Our creator has bestowed different gifts to us and all you need to do is taking advantage of your gifts to strive for success. It is like playing a basketball match. If you are tall and strong, you could be a center, smashing your opponents with your power and body; if you are swift and smart, you could be a forward, vanquishing your opponents with accurate shot and breakthrough; even if you are short and stout, you could be a guard, frustrating your opponents with good control and defense. The success of Helen Keller is a good example upholding this point of view.
From three paragraphs listed above, we already know that our creator gave people equal gifts when they were born. Then let us concentrate our attention on people’s progressing course in our society. Is the equilibrium between a single person’s advantages and disadvantages destroyed? In another words, our attention is whether some handicaps of a person are enlarged by our society.
Firstly, existance of some unequal facts in this society doesn’t mean our society is in favor of inequality. It is a common social fact that poor people do not have as many opportunities to get a good education as wealthy people. The point I want to stress is that this is a social fact, and social fact does not demonstrate our value approach. For an example, there are people who commit crimes in our society. But this social fact does not mean that our society is in favor of crimes or our society is a criminal society. Therefore, the existance of some unequal facts does not mean the society is unequal to the people in it.
Secondly, "all men are created equal" is our social value approach and we have enforced some rules embodying this value approach. We have set up various social security systems to help the poor who can’t support themselves. Our government has established a nine-year compulsory education policy to make sure all poor children can receive preliminary education for free. Based on “all men are created equal” value approach, we and our government have done a lot to try to minimize the negative effect caused by differences or handicaps. So that, people, with different faculties, can live in a comparatively fair environment.

Secondly, people with disadvantages always have some advantages as compensations. That is to say, someone is (weak) in one aspect, she or he is (also) strong in others(删去aspects. ). (For incidence, )a person who is poor always has a stronger motivation for succession than (a rich one); a person who is black always has a more robust body than people of other races; a person who is blind always has a better hearing ability than normal people.