查人人中国名人网疯狂的代价伍宇娟洗澡:急~~请求帮忙改一篇作文（英语），给一些意见即可，谢了
来源：百度文库 编辑：查人人中国名人网 时间：2024/04/27 05:26:36
At Home For Any Excuse
I have a naughty brother named Tommy Chen. He is ten years old and he studied in Class one Grade three. Tommy hated school and he always planed not to go to school, so his score is not very good.
If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note said that he had a cold. If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school time. He spent more time at home than he in school. On the days he did go to school, he looked for excuses to back home early at once.
One day he came home from school in the middle of the morning. His father was very surprised.
“Why do you come home so early?” he said. “Is the school closed?”
“No Dad, The school is open, I came home early.” Tommy answered and smiled at his father.
“How did you do that? It is very important for you to learn knowledge” his father asked him. “What do you say to your teacher, Tommy?”
“I told that I had a new baby sister and that I had to come home and help you. That was all！” Tommy answered.
“But your mother has had twins,” his father said, “a boy and a girl. You’ve got a baby sister and a baby brother.” “Yes, I know, but don’t be foolish！Dad!” Tommy said. “I’m saving up my baby brother for next week!” His father looked at him and felt very hurt.
真的很感谢你哦！！
在保证不出错误的前提下 尽量多使用复杂句式
1，例如 将I have a naughty brother named Tommy Chen. He is ten years old and he studied in Class one Grade three. 写成I have a ten-year-old naughty brother named Tommy Chen,who studys in Class one Grade three. 介绍人物情况时通常用一般现在时即可 讲述事情时再根据具体情况选择相应时态
2，Tommy hated school and he always planed not to go to school, so his score is not very good. 将so换成as a result, 感觉更好些
3，He spent more time at home than he in school.去掉第二个he
4，One day he came home from school in the middle of the morning. His father was very surprised. 将这两个简单句并成一个非限制性定语从句更好些 改为：
One day he came home from school in the middle of the morning，which made his father very surprise.
5,“Is the school closed?” 是想表示放学的意思吗 如果是的话 通常用school is over;如果不是则无须更正
6，It is very important for you to learn knowledge完善一下 It is of great importance for you to stay at school to learn knowledge 。
7，“What do you say to your teacher, Tommy?” 注意时态 do-did
8,“I told that I had a new baby sister and that I had to come home and help you. That was all！”
或者说成i said that 或者说成i told the teacher that
我觉得将最后一个you改为my father 或my parents更好 因为这些话是他当时对老师说的
9，“But your mother has had twins,”his father said
has-had said改为corrected更好些
10，His father looked at him and felt very hurt.
觉得可以换个方式表达 或者以冷幽默的方式表达会更好 因为整个故事情节都近于一个冷笑话 His father looked at the big smiling on Tommy's face but could say nothing at all.
呵呵 仅供参考哦 改了十个小地方 也希望你的文章能够十全十美哦 如果还有欠托的地方就请您自己更正吧 ^_^
这个是你翻译的吗？
我有个不成熟的建议
呵呵
就是 your brother 是第三人称的
还有词组 be always doing
加些从句会更好