查人人中国名人网陈翔身材腹肌:这篇短文帮我修正一下...
来源：百度文库 编辑：查人人中国名人网 时间：2024/05/04 05:38:09
Wonderful Life
Today , I saw a film on TV , it told a story about a bunch of workers taken a train from Chengdu to Xinjiang . The works had to wait in line for three or four days . and they had to packed into the carriages like bees when the train arrived . Even packed into through the windows . We could see that they want to earn the money must have been a tiring journey . The train was filled with the people wants to find their life . The reporter paid a visit to a sixty-five years old men , an age when many men retire , he began the journey of his life . His eyes were swimming with tears and replied why he came here . “In order to live , In order to his children , In order to his next generation , he hoped they don’t to do as he .” After 52 hours journey , they arrived their “Happy Hunting Ground” . Found their Wonderful life , I trust .
We all live in happy life , we must treasure what the things belong to you in front of you . Pleas don’t let your laziness destroy yourself . Where there is life , there is hope . We must try to do better so that we can become a strong men in our life . Let’s create and enjoy our Wonderful Life .
Today , I saw a film on TV , it told a story about a bunch of workers taken a train from Chengdu to Xinjiang . The works had to wait in line for three or four days . and they had to packed into the carriages like bees when the train arrived . Even packed into through the windows . We could see that they want to earn the money must have been a tiring journey . The train was filled with the people wants to find their life . The reporter paid a visit to a sixty-five years old men , an age when many men retire , he began the journey of his life . His eyes were swimming with tears and replied why he came here . “In order to live , In order to his children , In order to his next generation , he hoped they don’t to do as he .” After 52 hours journey , they arrived their “Happy Hunting Ground” . Found their Wonderful life , I trust .
We all live in happy life , we must treasure what the things belong to you in front of you . Pleas don’t let your laziness destroy yourself . Where there is life , there is hope . We must try to do better so that we can become a strong men in our life . Let’s create and enjoy our Wonderful Life .
it told 后面没有主语
tell sb. sth.或者是tell sth. to sb.
tell后也可以接从句
应改为it told us a story about...
taken 改成 taking
好多处错误。改天有时间给你改一下。
不过你观察挺细致的