行星锥盘无级变速器:谁提供一篇英语的短文啊要搞笑而又有意义的?急

1.A cult leader claimed that he survived on air.A doubter said,"i saw you eating French fries at McDonald's yesterday."The gurn replied,"You can't call that food"
译：有一个教派的领导人宣称，他靠空气就能存活。一个表示怀疑的人说：“我昨天还看到你在麦当劳吃薯条。”这个领导者回答：“你不能称那东西为食物！！”
2.An elementary school teacher asked a student why he was late.He replied,"A nearby sign said:Shool ahead,slow down,go slow,"so that's what i did.
译：一个小学老师问一个学生为什么迟到。他回答说：“附近有一个标志写着前方有学校，减速，慢行。”所以我就照此做了.....

这是我非常喜爱的一个小故事.每次给小朋友读这个故事,他们都喊着,”Again, again, please!” Aronld Nobe的故事言简意赅,人物刻划得很深刻.对做自己很想做的事, 我想每个人都需要 WILL POWER意志力去告诉自己不能再做了.
Cookies
Arnold Nobel

Toad bakes some cookeies.
“These cookies smell very good,” said Toad.
He ate one.
“Toad ran to Frog’s house.
“Frog, Frog,” cried Toad,
“”taste these cookies that I have made.”
Frog ate one of the cookies.
“These are the best cookies I have ever eaten!” said Frog.
Frog and Toad ate many cookies, one after another.
“You know, Toad,” said Frog, with his mouth full,
“I think we should stop eating. We will soon be sick.”
“You are right,” said Toad.
“Let us eat one last cookie.” And then we will stop.”
Frog and Toad ate one last cookie. There were many cookies left in the bowl.
“Frog,” said Toad,
“let us eat one very last cookie, and then we will stop.”
Frog and Toad ate one very last cookie.
“We must stop eating!” cied Toad as he ate another.
“Yes,” said Frog, reaching for a cookie,
“we need will power.”
“What is will power?” asked Toad.
“Will power is trying hard not to do something that you really want to do,” said Frog.
“You mean like trying not to eat all of these cookies?” asked Toad.
“Right,” said Frog.
Frog put the cookies in a box.
“There,” he said.
“Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true.” Said Frog.
Frog tied some string around the box.
“There,” he said.
“Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can cut the string and open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true,” said Frog.
Frog got a ladder. He put the box up on a high shelf.
“There,” said Frog.
“Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can climb the ladder and take the box down from the shelf and cut the string and open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true,” said Frog.
Frog climbed the ladder and took the box down from the shelf. He cut the string and opened the box. Frog took the box outside. He shouted in a loud voice,
“HEY BIRDS. HERE ARE COOKIES!’
Bids came from everywhere. They picked up all the cookies in their beaks and flew away.
“Now we have no more cookies to eat,” said Toad sadly.
“Not even one.”
“Yes,” said Frog.
“but we have lots and lots of will power.”
“You may keep it all, Frog,” said Toad.
“I am going home now to bake a cake”