没有空军的国家:英语小笑话

Mixed doubles

Teacher of Physical Education:Have you ever seen mixed doubles,boys?
Nick:Yes,sir.Quite often. I saw it even last night.
Teacher:Please tell us something about it.
Nick:Oh,sorry,Sir.My father always says,"Domestic shame should not be published."

All except the music

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class the glories of classical music,so she arranged an outing to an aftenoon concert.
To make the occasion even more memorable,she treated everyone to lemonade,cake,choce,and ices.
Just as the party was getting back into their coach,she said to little Sally,"Have you enjoyed yoursilf today,honey?"
"Oh ,yes miss!" said Sally,"it was lovely.All except the music,that is."

A young blonde, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
"I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free.
Later the shopkeeper drove home. He spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou,
shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in. She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement
as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
"Darn!" the blonde shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

Excuse for Speeding

Excuse for Speeding
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.

〃Why on earth were you driving so fast？〃 the policeman yelled.

〃Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident！〃

超速的理由

哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。

“你们为什么开那么快？”警官喊道。

“我们的刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。”

Send the Bill to My Father

Doctor： 〃I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.〃

Patient： 〃then send the bill to my father，please.〃

把账单给我父亲

医生：“对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传病。”

病人：“那请你把账单给我父亲吧。”

英语小笑话
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